By Regina Winkle-Bryan
I just spent a couple months in the States, mostly on the West Coast where I grew up. Now I’m back in Barcelona, and for the first time in a long time, I have ‘homesickness’, which got me thinking on that old question, ‘Where is home?’
To which you reply, ‘Home is where the heart is, of course!’ And what if your heart is in two places? Can you love two homes equally and completely? Is this whole train of thought heading straight for an ‘open relationship’ argument? Yikes.
I miss certain aspects of Oregon and the small town that I grew up in that I never imagined I’d miss. For instance, I miss the quiet. As a tween and teen I hated that same calm, quietness. I loathed it, and at every chance fled from it to Portland or wherever else ‘exciting’ I could get to.
Maybe that need for excitement landed me here, in Barcelona, Spain, where as I type these words there is a carnival (with rides, games, cotton candy and chaos) outside my window. It’s been there for a few days now, and the constant din makes me yearn to hear nothing more than the wind in the trees and an occasional lawn mower, the soundtrack to my hometown. I also miss all the green in every shade: emerald, lime, deep forest, almost blue, turquoise….The green in western Oregon is endless, and when I left the air smelled of fresh cut hay, water, and the approach of fall.
Barcelona, on the other hand, smells like salt but also like urine, garbage and people cooking fish. Cities are like that, you know, smelly. Soon Barcelona will smell like roasted chestnuts and sweet potatoes, a scent I prefer over urine any day.
The point is, I suppose, that you can’t have it all. You can have a lot, but perfect doesn’t exist. You can’t have the sea of Oregon green without months of constant rain. You can’t have an exciting life in Barcelona and expect it to also be quiet. This makes me conclude that I have the best of both worlds. I have two love affairs with two different slices of this Earth, where I have two sets of friends, families and homes. I have the peace and I have the party – I’ve got what they call ‘abundance’.